Yeah I know its an increase from last week. Also I knocked over a jar and the scale took some inadvertent splatter, it will be washed off before next week (actually since it is bugging me it will be washed off as soon as I finish typing this).
So gaining weight was not the direction I want to go, but I am not disheartened. This slight weight gain is not a cause for alarm. While daily fluctuations are normal and to be expected, this one is also no mystery. Its the mysterious weight gains that always throw me for a loop, where you are doing all you can and the scale still won’t move. Faced down that, this is not that.
You see all week, I was pretty good. I got my workouts in and my calories were on point. I was doing good. Yesterday, however was my birthday. And you know what I really, really wanted for my birthday?
To not sweat.
Or at least not sweat any more than the 90 + degree summer temperatures caused. See, I understand that to lose the weight I need to sweat. I need to work out. But lets face it, I am not one of nature’s exercise enthusiasts. I am not a gym rat. I am not overly fond of athleticism. And I really don’t like to sweat.
I know some people think its cathartic. Others feel good when they sweat. I see it as a sign that at this moment I am doing what I need to be doing. Then I go home and strip off the sweaty gym clothes, fight my way out of the soaked sports bra and get in the shower. Then I put on something comfortable with undergarments that were chosen for more aesthetically pleasing reasons than their ability to take a beating in the gym.
I should also confess, I don’t like the gym.
When I started everyone kept telling me that once I started I would grow to love the gym and I would really start to enjoy it. My interpretation was that once my muscles stopped threatening to revolt at the unfamiliar movements and I didn’t want to curl up in a ball of spaghetti like limbs in a throbbing heap of pain filled despair, I would not despise the gym so much. And that is true. I don’t hate or dread going to the gym.
It is just not my happy place.
It has become habit, I will admit that. But it is a habit like making the bed each morning or taking vitamins. I don’t wake up and say woo hoo, now I get to make the bed, awesome! I likewise am not thrilled by my regular gym visits. In fact my main goal is to get to a point where I can maintain a healthy weight just by going on a daily walk. You know, participating in normal human exercise instead of dealing with machines that isolate muscle groups and target areas.
My end of the dieting path leads me to two things, a nice dress I can pick off the rack without an form of X (as in XL, XXL or the dreaded 3X) on the tag, and canceling my gym membership.
I know there are some gasps from those who have developed a deep and abiding love. More power to you. Just know, that once I have completed my mission, I will leave you be (possibly with a skip and giggle of joy as I head out the door) and there will be one less person waiting to use the machines.
So that was a long winded way of saying that for my birthday present to myself, I skipped my scheduled workout.
And it was good.
I woke up and I got dressed. Once. That’s right, my day did not require multiple outfits. One set of clothes and one set of pretty undies the whole day through. I can’t lie. It was glorious. It also reinvigorated me so I am once again looking forward to that time again.
Also because it was my birthday, there was cake, and eating out so I didn’t have to cook on my birthday and if we are being honest, celebratory drinks. Several in fact.
So that was last night.
And to be honest, I was surprised the scale wasn’t scarier this morning. I got on and surveyed the digital numbers with a great deal of trepidation. But the end result is that my day of celebration only added a little less than half a pound. Which means two things. One, working extra hard this week because I knew I was taking my birthday off did some good (trust me, I know what I consumed), and two, this weight will not be sticking around.
Did I meet my weight loss goal this week?
Do I regret it?
Not at all.
While weight loss is, at this point in time, a large focus of my time and energy, it is not my entire life. Nor do I believe it should be. Reaching for any sort of goal requires some sort of sacrifice and I understand the ones I have to make to reach my goals. But that doesn’t mean a blinding focus. I am not training to be an olympian. I do not have a strict deadline where the weight must come off or else. My weight loss journey is incorporated into my life. It is not my life. Sometimes, that gets hard to remember. But for me at least, I think that it is important that I do.
Now that I’ve had my philosophical moment… the official record.
Starting Weight: 246 lbs
Last week’s Weight: 217.4 lbs
This week’s weight: 217.8 lbs
Total weight loss to date: 28.2 lbs
Left to lose: 98.8 lbs
Let the journey continue.