Weekly Weight: ???

January 3, 2020

This morning I approached the scale with a feeling of hope and optimism. I know, not my normal operating system of suspicion and cynicism. I had high hopes for today. Today would be the day I finally broke the 40 lb loss I have been chasing for the past few weeks. I would reach the goal that holiday feasting delayed. I could feel it in my bones.

My scale had other ideas.

Apparently in my surprise at the above message displayed by my digital scale, I uttered a strange sound that my darling dearest not only heard through the closed bathroom door but interpreted as distress. He knocked to find out if I was all right.

My noise was clearly a strange one he could not interpret, but didn’t sound terribly good.

As I do not recall making a noise, I will have to take his word for it. I let him into the bathroom and stepped back on the scale as though daring it to show him what it showed me in private.

After all, I needed to know if the machine was actually malfunctioning or if it was just taunting me when it thought no one was looking.

I think it is important to know these sorts of things.

Not that I could do anything but sound a warning in the event of an emergency mechanical uprising.

But for my fellow man, I will try and at least warn you.

Mercifully my skills with a flare gun were not needed as the scale repeated its Err sign in the presence of another, so there was a witness.

Unlike me who feared that sometime in the night I managed to gain enough weight that the scale no longer wanted to record my tonnage, and yes that was the first thought in my head, the sight did not scare my darling love.

It made him laugh.

At the scale and me.

Mostly me.

It seems the scale needs new batteries.

Which we do not have on hand.

And apparently only one store carries regularly.

He just couldn’t remember which one off hand so we will narrow down our search on line and then go shopping later.

So no weigh in today. No potentially breaking that 40 lbs barrier. No happy dance.

But on the plus side, no confirmation that the machines are staging an uprising. At least not this morning. But my darling dearest is amused and still chuckling over my battery failure wail. So at least someone is happy.

I’ll admit, I find it darkly amusing in a ‘the cosmos is out to get me’ sort of way.

But I will live.

Instead of posting a static weight I am going to post measurements today instead. As I was cleaning out my files for the end of the year I came across the chart I made detailing my initial weight and measurements. I will be saving them until I reach the healthy weight I feel I can maintain for a final comparison, but I thought that in the absence of a scale it would be fun to post the changes to them instead.

So starting measurements: Bust: 48.5 Inches, Waist: 47 Inches, Hips: 48.5 Inches

Current measurements: Bust: 44.5 Inches, Waist: 42.5 Inches, Hips: 45 Inches

So clearly I have shown some progress in my weight loss. I’ve lost 3.5 inches from my bust, 4.5 inches from my waist and 3.5 inches from my hips.

To be honest I have no idea what my measurements will end up being when I reach my healthy goal. I’m mostly just going to see where they end up landing when I am done losing weight rather than worrying about the measuring tape. I am however happy to see that the numbers have decreased and that I am apparently shedding weight from all over my body in a somewhat even fashion and not just from one particular spot. That makes me feel better about my plan.

And since technically, I took the initial measurements in January of last year, then this is an annual recording and not just randomness due to mechanical failure. So the battery loss actually helped me repeat my measuring from the year before in a more scientific way than I planned.

Do you think this means the machines are really on my side?

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