I have to say I am somewhat relieved to see the title. More than anything the curiosity is eating me alive. Living without a scale for a month has been a bit of a trial. I’m glad I did it, and I learned several things about myself in the process, some of which will help me moving forward, others are things I really just need to keep an eye on.
I’ve learned that lists are really handy to keep me moving and motivated. I’ve learned that sometimes my body will let me know when it is not happy with my bad decisions. I’ve also learned that weekends are my weak spots. During the week I am very good at writing down my calories, getting my workouts in and generally staying on track. Once the clock hits end of work on Friday evening, I am not that great at remembering any of those things.
My brain sort of says ‘weekend’ and then shuts off. Part of it is that I am not at my desk as much over the weekend, so logging things in is harder to remember. At my desk I have a note pad set up to jot things down and make sure they are logged. On weekends, I lose that. I think that is also where I miss the scale the most. I really like having that friday accountability. There is no wiggle room. The scale shows the numbers to you in bold numbers. There is no interpretation of feelings. Just the numbers.
Good or bad, those numbers help me on the weekend. If I did well I can talk myself out of a little something extra because I haven’t earned it, and if the numbers are good I can use them to talk myself out of a little something extra because I don’t want to undo all the work I did the week before. without that I sort of drift.
It makes me very worried that this month without the scale I did put on weight. So the 25th is looming large in my mind as the first day back on the scale.
And this past thirty days wasn’t the most placid of months for me either. Admittedly when I had the bank issues with someone hacking my account after dealing with it instead of stress eating I spent time researching voodoo dolls. So that is something at least. Still the stress was strong this month.
I did learn that while I use the scale and it’s number to keep me motivated, the end weight goal is really nit that important to me. I put up the number because it was within the doctor approved healthy range and it was exactly half of my starting weight and thus made a fun goal. But beyond that, it didn’t mean all that much to me.
Also through conversations with a family member who is recovering from an eating disorder, with therapy, I’ve learned to explain why I use the scale as a tool and will continue to use it in a way that is acceptable to her and compatible with my telling her that the scale should not be relied upon for a holy grail number. Its also why I am no longer going to put up a goal number and just continue on my weight loss until I am within a healthy range and not to achieve a specific number.
So over all this month has been a good thing. I will still be relieved to get my scale back (I sent it out of the house so I wouldn’t be tempted to cheat). Even if I did gain weight, which I will consider acceptable this month (even if I don’t really like the possibility) I will be very happy to know my current weight. Its the curiosity that is really getting to me. But for both family and self, it was definitely worth taking a month away from the scale to think about why and how I want to use it moving forward. I don’t now who out there is in the same weight loss boat as I am, but I hope these posts have helped you as well. I will be keeping up my daily posts next week. I might even keep them as a regular feature moving forward. Feel fee to let me know if you’d like to see them continue.