Weekly Weight: Still no scale

Yeah. Turns out I was thinking 30 days and the person who challenged me thought it was until the end of September so My first new official weigh in will be October 2nd and not today.

So one more week without the scale.

I will still do the month in review here and then move forward next week. I strongly suspect I have gained a bit of weight over the past month. That could just be my orderly soul wanting exact measurments and projecting it’s unsettled feeling of being unable to check, but I think it is true.

I also think it is less about the scale and more the official weigh in at the end of the week that keeps me more on track. As I’ve been discussing the scale, even if I couldn’t use it, a lot this month this is the conclusion I have reached.

Each friday morning I get on the scale and see what effects my efforts throughout the week have had in black and white figures. Or at least digital figures. I then, because of this site, have to type in the numbers to let the world (or anyone reading this post) what those numbers are. And I post a picture of the scale so I can’t lie about it. Knowing that I have to do that helps keep me motivated.

Plus there is the past factor. When my weight started ballooning up, I stopped getting on the scale. I simply stopped weighing myself. When I actually committed to losing weight I got on the scale for the first time in at least five years. Before then I hid from it, both the scale and my weight. Committing to a weekly weigh in makes me not hide from it. It forces me to stop and think about my decisipons once a week if nothing else instead of drifting.

There has been a lot of drifting this month. I also have my babydoll who has taken advantage of the lack of scale to start slipping more meat themed meals into the menu plan. I can’t blame him, I let him do it. He’s had some rough instances with crazies at work lately so I didn’t hold as strictly to the standard one dinner with meat per week plan that we have been following. And it isn’t that I’m blaming meat per say, but those nights tend to be heavier meals anyway. Mostly because letting him have those meals is what gets him to agree to more veg heavy meals throughout the week and then Friday is the ‘treat meal’. If he’s craving a breaded pork covered in a sauce made with mushrooms, white wine and heavy cream, then that is the night. I take a smaller portion and admittedly add my friday night treat of an icy cold martini (Plymouth gin, Noilly Prat Vermouth and olive juice, if you please). Of course even the martini is a reasonable size as my martini glasses are straight out of the 1950s instead of the giant glasses as big as my face.

The problem isn’t the Friday night indulgences so much as the fact that he’s sort of had his friday meals creep to Wednesdays as well for a mid week pick me up. Which in all fairness, I let him. So even though the martini stays on Friday, the indulgent meal has doubled. Having the scale as sort of definitive proof that i don’t need to be doing that (although I know I don’t need to be doing that) will help me wrangle the meal plans back into place.

I think the weather change will help with that as well. While the cold veg meals such as the spring roll salad get us through the summer months when it is too hot to turn on the oven for very long, my baby doll tends to find the hot veg themed meals much more soul satisfying. I believe this will aid my wrangling quest.

I know, a lot of navel gazing for a Friday morning. But sometimes, my darlings, one has to spend a little time looking within if the goal is self improvement. which in this case has more to do with understanding the role of the scale in my life instead of actually thinking about weight loss.

So next week is the official October weigh in. If I’ve lost weight – great. If I stayed the same, fine. If I gained weight I will accept that it is not the end of the world, take it as a new start and continue moving on. I will be disappointed, but I will survive. I am willing to accept whatever outcome it is. Because in the end this month was about healthy thinking more than anything else. The reason I am losing weight it to make myself healthier and happier, with fewer aching knee and ankle joints. It is not about the number on the scale, whatever that may be, even if I do squeal and dance as the numbers descend. The happy dance is just for me (and really shouldn’t be seen by anyone else – I’ve heard there are petitions).


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