The Daily: September 30th, 2020

I feel like I’ve been playing peek-a-boo with the sun this week. Today it has returned. It also brought temperatures that are about 15 degrees lower than they were before yesterday’s rain. Dare I hope that autumn is here to stay?

Yes I dare.

So today I walked and I started thinking about what needed to be switched before fall really sets in. This weekend, I’m flipping the wardrobe and putting the summer clothes away. Luckily this past weekend I did a grand purge and anything that won’t make it through another summer was removed. Oh the sweat stains. There are only so many times you can wash something before the white salt line becomes more or less permanent. Several of my garments reached that stage.

They will now find future use elsewhere, mostly for dusting and other cleaning purposes, but a few to be cut out and sent on as quilting squares to a friend who quilts. I cut them into flat more or less rectangular pieces and threw away the stained bits. So not all the cloth went to waste. None of the garments removed from the closet are donation worthy.

It’s sort of a strange game I’m playing. Its called “Will the garment wear out before I reach a smaller size.” I know not as catchy as Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune, but I’m sure as soon as I get my own theme song it will really take off. This round, things wore out. I’m hopeful that the next time I play the size change will take the lead.

Today I remembered to write things down in my food journal. I also realized I needed to move the post it note reminding me to log into the food journal around so that it doesn’t just become part of the background and thus something i ignore.

Over all it has been a pretty quiet day. Tonight I start sorting my nail polish. I’ll be getting rid of any that are now past the age of usefulness (i.e. clumpy or dried out) and then figuring out what colors I need to pick up as replacements. The two things I always seem to get for the holidays are new nail polishes and at least one pair of fabulous shoes (usually debuted on New year’s Eve).

I might only pick up one new pair of shoes for the holiday season, but I will pick up a new nail polish for each major event from Halloween on. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years are guaranteed their own polishes. Sometimes holiday gatherings get there own, but that mostly depends on how full the one drawer I allow my nail polishes to fill is at the moment. It is surprisingly not a very big drawer.

Which is sort of by design. I also only really seem to buy nail polishes in mass once a year. The rest of the year I may pick up one for a special occasion if I have nothing that matches, but otherwise I go a bit nail polish crazy once my gardening is done for the summer and my hands start to recuperate.

A few years back I picked up an Autumn Spice scented nail polish from Revlon which smelled like allspice and nutmeg that I wore for thanksgiving. Thus far it has been one of my better holiday picks. I like the color and the scent is really nice. The polish only lasts about two days without chipping unless you get a really good top coat to go over it though.

This year a really good top coat is going on the top of my list. I tend to forget to put that on the list and now I am down to a clear gloss that has the tendency to peel off entirely and take the bottom color with it as my only top coat. I’d tell you what it was so you could avoid it but it had a run in with a spilled bottle of red a while ago and I can’t read the label any more. It is definitely time for it to go.

I somehow suspect I won’t be getting any additional colors this year beyond my four annual picks (and top coat) as there won’t be as many gatherings to attend in person. Still, even if New Year’s eve ends up being me and my baby splitting a bottle of champagne while sitting on the sofa in our pjs, New Years eve will have a fantastic nail polish and a great pair of shoes. They may not go with a t-shirt and pajama pants, but that is hardly the point.

So the weather has changed and cooler temperatures and more time indoors has started the holiday planning and list making process. For now it is under control but by mid October I will be in full holiday planning mode. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t decorate until it is holiday appropriate. As this weekend is the first weekend in October the Halloween decorations and pumpkin carving will be done. Mid- November brings out thanksgiving and then December 1st Starts the Christmas Decorations. I will not be rushed on my decorations.

My neighbors started decorating for halloween two weeks ago. Admittedly i think it was more an ‘if you build it they will come’ sort of moment as they seemed to hope if they put out the skeleton decals and hay bales than the heat would magically break.

But even though I don’t decorate just yet, I am beginning my shopping battle plans. This year I have to mail presents to fourteen different US states and three separate countries. So planning is a necessity. Surprisingly most of my gift lists are made, I just need to pair them with sales and scheduling as well as the things I usually pick up for either me or the house at this time of year. then i have to figure out the ordering schedule.

But scheduling shipping and purchasing is for another day. Tonight there is nail polish to contemplate and tomorrow begins the hunt for the New Year’s Eve Shoes.

So my darlings, that is a snapshot of my world today. I know i veered off of health and fitness there, but hopefully you didn’t find the side trip too onerous. As a further aside, Ole Henriksen is having a sale. You can find it by clicking the link. If you do and then buy something I make a very small commission. I am quite fond of their toners and I am currently liking their banana primer. It smells exactly like banana candy.

EXCLUSIVE early access to Ole Henriksen’s Friends & Family. Plus, get 25% off sitewide (everyone else gets 20%!). No code needed. While supplies last. Ends 10/5/20.

The Daily: September 29th, 2020

The rain has returned. So I am doubly glad I spent extra time outside yesterday. it may have thrown my schedule off, but as I’m not leaving the house today, I can catch up. It seems like that is generally the autumn cycle. except that this year I’m not making up for the lack of outdoor walking with the gym. This makes me a little bit nervous. I also realized I’ve fallen back into the habit of thinking I know how many calories I am eating instead of diligently recording them.

I know that is not good.

But I got busy and forgot. I need to get back into that habit. especially as I am still without the scale.

Today is kind of an off day in general though. My baby doll is home today. And not working from home, just home. His allergies have stopped him up and made him grouchy and persnickety. So he took a sick day so as not to inflict himself on his co workers.

I love the fact that whenever he feels sick or out of sorts he forgets where things are located in the house. Thus far I’ve been asked where we keep the tea (in the tins marked Tea oddly enough), where we put the honey (In the pantry next to the syrups), how to make oatmeal, where the cough drops and tissues are as well as where his favorite blanket is. I’m not supposed to call it his binky because he claims it isn’t, but the moment he feels even slightly our of sorts that is the blanket he wants to get.

So there have been many interruptions. He refuses to let me do anything like make the tea or oatmeal or even get all of the things out for him because he insists he can do it himself and he doesn’t want to cause trouble. So I get the stop and start day and he feels he managed to suffer stoically in silence as I got on with my work. And yes he thinks the twenty plus interruptions are actually him suffering stoically in silence while leaving me alone to work.

But we’ll have an early dinner so he can take the allergy meds his doctor gave him, they knock him for a loop and cause him to sleep early and deeply. Then tomorrow he will be back to his old self. So I’ll probably be working late this evening and normality will resume in the morning. At least he really is very good about having only one day of down time. As the ragweed still has me a little stuffy I kind of envy the one day take down. but such is not my fate.

Today is more about making sure tea with honey gets where it needs and less about making sure I burn my calories. I am making a conscious effort to log in what I eat today though and I’ve put a post it note reminder on my monitor for tomorrow. I need to get back into the habit of writing things down. If I have gained weight in my month without the scale, I’m pretty sure the lapses in recording are part of the reason. At this point while I am a little worried about what the scale will say I am sure that the reality of it will help steer me back onto the right track.

So before I once again leave you to locate the some how missing tea canister again (its amazing how magically disappearing that canister is) here are a couple of fun specials you might be interested in.

Make those lips pop for less with Laura Geller. Get 60% off lip products when you buy 3+ with coupon code “L60” at checkout. Don’t forget to get your free shipping on all orders of $50+. Offer valid through 10/1.

20% off Honest Beauty Makeup, now through 10/3 – only on

And it is the last two days of the Fall Sales on Alyaka with Spend £75 Get 10% OFF with code FALL10, Spend £150 Get 15% OFF with code FALL15, or Spend £300 Get 20% OFF with code FALL20.

Happy shopping, I’m off to find the tea tin. I’m pretty sure it ran away with the honey in a blatant attempt to out do the dish and the spoon. lets hope nothing tries to beat the cow jumping over the moon. I’ll be back tomorrow when my baby doll is back to normal and the chance of rain looks like it’s a slightly lower percent of possibility.

The Daily: September 28th, 2020

Sunshine!!!!! Oh how I have missed you. After a misty start to the morning, the sky finally cleared and revealed the sun. As it has been raining since Wednesday, it was fantastic. I went on a very long walk. While the sun is not terribly hot, I will say the humidity is fierce.

I returned to the house from my walk looking like it was actually raining outside. I walked straight into the laundry room, stripped off and put everything into the washer before heading directly to the shower. This was not a job for dry shampoo and showerless wipes. No, as fabulous as they are, this was a job for water and shampoo.

Well once the water warmed up it was a job for shampoo. I started off with cool water. It may not be as hot as it has been, but with the humidity I really felt the sun today. Then once I cooled down enough to allow the water to warm up, I called in the shampoo, conditioner and bodywash triumvirate and emerged later clean and feeling like I actually got some excercise.

While I spent much of the weekend sorting clothes and bringing out my fall and winter wardrobe the only activity I managed was moving around inside the house. The rain more or less kept me house bound and made me feel like a lump. The walk made me feel better about things. While I seriously doubt that I will ever be the person who talks about a ‘runner’s high’ – unless I spot some pot smoking joggers and even then I think I would just be impressed by fast moving potheads – I will say that now I am accustomed to walking almost every day, the days I don’t walk my body misses it. When I take a few days off and then get back to walking I always feel like I am clearing out some mental cobwebs. Its a nice feeling. So I was glad to see the sun today.

Something else I was happy to see, Peter Thomas Roth is having a sale on their To Die For Line. I tested out the To Die For Primer from PTR and absolutely loved it. I only had a sample and I put the full size on my list to look into for Black Friday. With this sale I may be able to scratch it off the list early. The sale is To Die For Collection Sale 50% off with Coupon code: TODIEFOR. The sale starts 9/28 12am ET and ends 10/4 11:59 pm ET. The above link will take you to the sale. I don’t get anything if you use the coupon code, it is just the sale code. If you are interested in my review of the Primer you can click here to read it. It was part of my Make Up bag for both the week of May 22 and the following week as there was enough in the sample tube for two weeks of use. It is an excellent mattifying primer. So I saw the sale notice and had to share. Hope you enjoy.

Weekly Weight: Still no scale

Yeah. Turns out I was thinking 30 days and the person who challenged me thought it was until the end of September so My first new official weigh in will be October 2nd and not today.

So one more week without the scale.

I will still do the month in review here and then move forward next week. I strongly suspect I have gained a bit of weight over the past month. That could just be my orderly soul wanting exact measurments and projecting it’s unsettled feeling of being unable to check, but I think it is true.

I also think it is less about the scale and more the official weigh in at the end of the week that keeps me more on track. As I’ve been discussing the scale, even if I couldn’t use it, a lot this month this is the conclusion I have reached.

Each friday morning I get on the scale and see what effects my efforts throughout the week have had in black and white figures. Or at least digital figures. I then, because of this site, have to type in the numbers to let the world (or anyone reading this post) what those numbers are. And I post a picture of the scale so I can’t lie about it. Knowing that I have to do that helps keep me motivated.

Plus there is the past factor. When my weight started ballooning up, I stopped getting on the scale. I simply stopped weighing myself. When I actually committed to losing weight I got on the scale for the first time in at least five years. Before then I hid from it, both the scale and my weight. Committing to a weekly weigh in makes me not hide from it. It forces me to stop and think about my decisipons once a week if nothing else instead of drifting.

There has been a lot of drifting this month. I also have my babydoll who has taken advantage of the lack of scale to start slipping more meat themed meals into the menu plan. I can’t blame him, I let him do it. He’s had some rough instances with crazies at work lately so I didn’t hold as strictly to the standard one dinner with meat per week plan that we have been following. And it isn’t that I’m blaming meat per say, but those nights tend to be heavier meals anyway. Mostly because letting him have those meals is what gets him to agree to more veg heavy meals throughout the week and then Friday is the ‘treat meal’. If he’s craving a breaded pork covered in a sauce made with mushrooms, white wine and heavy cream, then that is the night. I take a smaller portion and admittedly add my friday night treat of an icy cold martini (Plymouth gin, Noilly Prat Vermouth and olive juice, if you please). Of course even the martini is a reasonable size as my martini glasses are straight out of the 1950s instead of the giant glasses as big as my face.

The problem isn’t the Friday night indulgences so much as the fact that he’s sort of had his friday meals creep to Wednesdays as well for a mid week pick me up. Which in all fairness, I let him. So even though the martini stays on Friday, the indulgent meal has doubled. Having the scale as sort of definitive proof that i don’t need to be doing that (although I know I don’t need to be doing that) will help me wrangle the meal plans back into place.

I think the weather change will help with that as well. While the cold veg meals such as the spring roll salad get us through the summer months when it is too hot to turn on the oven for very long, my baby doll tends to find the hot veg themed meals much more soul satisfying. I believe this will aid my wrangling quest.

I know, a lot of navel gazing for a Friday morning. But sometimes, my darlings, one has to spend a little time looking within if the goal is self improvement. which in this case has more to do with understanding the role of the scale in my life instead of actually thinking about weight loss.

So next week is the official October weigh in. If I’ve lost weight – great. If I stayed the same, fine. If I gained weight I will accept that it is not the end of the world, take it as a new start and continue moving on. I will be disappointed, but I will survive. I am willing to accept whatever outcome it is. Because in the end this month was about healthy thinking more than anything else. The reason I am losing weight it to make myself healthier and happier, with fewer aching knee and ankle joints. It is not about the number on the scale, whatever that may be, even if I do squeal and dance as the numbers descend. The happy dance is just for me (and really shouldn’t be seen by anyone else – I’ve heard there are petitions).


The Daily: September 24th, 2020

Rainy, rainy Thursday. There will be no walking outside. In reality it is on;y 62 degrees outside but as we routinely hit triple digits in the past couple of months it feels really cold. So everything is cold and damp. And I discovered one of the draw backs to having my baby doll working form home is that he occasionally scuppers my meal plans. He had to run to the office earlier and came back with lunch time burritos. It is a nice locally owned restaurant that I like supporting, but because I wasn’t going to get much exercise today I planned on a salad for lunch.

Yeah, the salad was not to be.

But the burrito was delicious. I think because we are eating out even less than usual food other people cook is extra tasty. And he did get my favorite so I can’t complain. It was a nice surprise.Just not diet friendly.I’m going with the salad for dinner and hope in the end it balances out.

Otherwise just working as it rains.

Thus far the highlight of my morning has been writing a scene where a somewhat foppish prince taunts a warmongering king across a battlefield in an effort to stall the actual battle. The city needs time to evacuate. It is actually a fun story. It’s the sequel to Cursed actually. That one sort of twisted up the Sleeping Beauty tale. I’m still following the main character from that, but I think I might try and work in a rumpelstiltskin tale into this one. Not sure yet. There is more plotting to be done before I reach that stage.

So that has been my afternoon. I skipped walking ate a giant burrito and have been writing most of the day. I have put the leg weights on my ankles so at least when I do move i have some resistance. Usually I only wear my Prosource fit weights in the morning between the desk and coffee pot, but I thought this afternoon they were justified. I could use a little extra help.

So not much to report on the fitness front. Unless non-fitness counts. There is one fun spot though. The Glossybox Advent Calendar became available for pre ordering today at noon. There is a discount for Glossy Box Subscribers ($89 for subscribers, $99 for nonsubscribers) but even nonsubscribers can order it. I’ll be doing a post solely on Advent calendars in October but I wanted to mention this one to you as it tends to sell out super fast and if you are interested I didn’t want you to miss it. While pre order is now available they are officially released October 5th. I know that included in the advent calender this year is Molton Brown, Viktor and Roth, Iconic London and First Aid Beauty to name a few. You can check it out by either clicking the link above or the advert below.

Foil Packet First Impressions

a selection of foil packets from my skincare drawer

I have a strange relationship with foil packets. I never consciously pick them up. They always seem to come as a gift with purchase, or a bonus item in a subscription box.They get touched into packages and sometimes arrive unannounced.

And I always think, okay, I’ve got to try that and see if it is worth giving it a full trial, either with a larger sample or a full sized bottle. Oh yes, there have been foil packets that completely sold me on the full size before. It is rare though. Usually with foil packets I don’t try to determine whether or not I would purchase a full size but rather would I be willing to try it again.

It has a much lower threshold.

But what happens with foil packets, is I gather them, thinking I need to try them and then they languish until I go to pull something out of a drawer and then they come cascading out like a strange skin care slot machine. Because I honestly don’t reach for them a lot. when going through samples and testing them out, I gather up the small tubes and tiny jars and work through them. I tend to completely forget about the foil packets. Luckily there are no bells and flashing lights when they slide out and remind me they are there.

So I decided that I would take a selection of foil packets partially because there are a lot of them and partially because Black Friday and Cyber Monday are coming and I want to start making my lists. If I don’t try the sample, I can’t know if i want to pick up the product. In addition to products I like and want to try, there are also lists of gifts for Christmas and unlike me, who was sensible enough to be born in June, most of my family was born between November and February.

I don’t mind actually as it makes my birthday THE event of the summer while everyone else is just a part of the celebratory series that starts November 3rd and ends February 12 leaving everyone gasping with relief when Valentine’s day hits and we have quiet until Easter.

But it also means that I make birthday lists around the same time I make Christmas lists. It also means that even though I talk about my list the most, the items I want tend to take a back seat on my shopping extravaganza and sometimes have to wait for the spring sales.

Such is life.

But sometimes, I make it through the list and still get to shop for me. So i still make the list. But enough chatter, it’s time to sample.

The links below will take you to the product page for the company. I get absolutely nothing if you click on them. They are not affiliate links. I just want you to be able to find the products if you are interested.

Snowberry Serum

First up is the Youth Renewing Face serum with eProlex. from Snowberry. I believe the sample came as an added bonus in a Glossy Box. The serum comes out as a clear liquid and even though it looks like it is more serum that I usually use on my face each morning, the packet contained just enough for my face, neck and upper chest.

Snowberry Serum in hand

It took a little while to soak in, but I have been spoiled by the Hyaluronic Acid Serum from Timeless Skincare. That tends to soak into the skin on contact. I started the Vitamin C Serum trial (also a Timeless Skincare) this week and even that had a noticeably slower absorption rate. I think I might have just gotten used to the HA Serum’s speed. Either way it took only a little longer absorb. Since on the back of the packet Snowberry recommends waiting five minutes before continuing with other skin care, that’s what I did. (and yes I set the timer.)

I also used the five minutes to set up the coffee pot.

It absorbed before the five minutes, but as I occupied myself I didn’t mind the wait. In five minutes it was completely absorbed. while the serum is clear it is not odorless. The scent is faint and not unpleasant. I just can’t identify it. When I try to describe it I want to say that is smells like a soft gray streaked with light pink. I know sometimes my brain is not terribly helpful. It is a clean and pleasant sort of smell though. I checked the ingredients list, which they thoughtfully provided on the back. while I am happy there are Niacinamides, which my skin loves (although I know some people have a sensitivity to)there was no ingredient where I could say HA that’s what i am smelling. So for now I have to say that my broken snifter and bent brain translates the scent into a soft gray streaked with light pink. It is however a product that, after my initial test I would like to see more of so I will be putting it on the list to try again in a larger sample or even a full size.

High Expectations oil

The next two items were also extras added to a Glossy Box I believe. they are both from High SkinCare. One is the High Expectations Facial Oil and the other is the High Five Cannabis Facial moisturizer. Oddly they both had the same slightly lemony scent to them rather than the more typically earthy scent I associate with Cannabis/CBD oil based products.

oil in hand

The facial oil is 32% cannabis sativa oil. There was far more in the packet than I actually needed for one application, so I did not use it all. There wasn’t enough to add to a container to try and use a second time. Or maybe there was but I didn’t really feel like using it a second time. This oil felt a little heavy on my skin. At the moment I am using Pure 100% Squalane oil from Timeless Skincare in the mornings and the Malin+Goetz Recovery Oil at night. neither sit quite as heavy on the skin. The High Expectations did not meet, let alone exceed expectations in this first impressions test. I do not think I will be adding it onto any list.

High Five Moisturizer

However, I would consider picking up the High Five Cannabis Facial Moisturizer for a longer trial. It has 20% Cannabis Sativa seed oil and the same lemony scent that the facial oil has. (I know some of you are thinking – at least she said lemony instead of yellow, but lemony doesn’t ping in my brain as yellow it usually comes across as a pale green, so ha. Plus I am familiar with the scent of lemons.)

moisturizer in hand

The High Five cream absorbed well into the skin and was quite moisturizing. Again there was far more in the packet than could be used in one sitting. This I did add to a small jar and use at night. Because of its consistency, I really liked using it at night. It is as thick as a traditional moisturizer (as opposed to a gel or water cream). Even though the temperature has dropped, the sun is still bright and I spent longer on the walking trail than I have in a while. This was a very good cream after too much time in the sun. Unlike the oil, I would definitely consider picking up a larger size to try out.

Next there is the First and Free CBD Cream. It came in a Pinch Me Box. I have to say I was very glad to see it as they always seem to want to send me bandages and candy. And yes I looked over my profile with them but somehow I have gotten into some sort of candy eating klutz category. So it was kind of fabulous to be offered any sort of body lotion. The First and Free CBD uses canopy growth for their products which if I remember correctly is more sustainable. I can’t remember the details. I have only just started delving into the CBD world and my research is still a little shaky. As I just started trying out a CBD Cleansing oil, I will be doing more research soon. I would also do more research on the effects of using only canopy growth should I try out a larger version of this cream or any other product from the First and Free Brand.

CBD Cream in hand

As I really liked this cream, I think that is definitely a possibility. There was little to no scent to it. It smelled like lotion. Just that cream scent that unscented lotions have. As almost every lotion in my currently large collection is pretty heavily scented, this was kind of a relief. Lately I’ve been running around smelling of cake batter and sugar cookies. It’s made me want to bake more. But that could also be the cooler temps. Regardless, I would actually like to try using this cream for a longer trial to see how I liked it over a longer period and if I would like to add it to my continue to purchase list of products. As a note, when you go to the First and Free Site they will ask for your location so they can determine which products they could ship to you. Which i kind of like. I’d hate to accidentally buy something that wasn’t legal in my locale. The company does sell edibles though and I think the restrictions are more on that end then on the body lotion.

So there you have it, four foil packets and my initial impressions of the products within. Three I want to try further and one I definitely do not. Not a bad trial run. I hope you’ve enjoyed my foil packet first impressions.

The Daily: September 23rd, 2020

Well, I managed to avoid the oreos. Unfortunately, I forgot about the halloween candy and came home with a small bag of candy corn. Luckily there is a very finite amount of candy corn I can eat in one sitting. Two pieces are delightful, any more and it is just too much. But I do like the two pieces. Its a small bag that ended up in the cart so it will probably last me til november and then I won’t want candy corn again until next halloween season.

And the nice weather is tempting me out for longer and more frequent walks. hile it is causing me to have to play a little bit of catchup this afternoon, I really enjoyed my extra long walk today. The weather was absolutely perfect. Just cool enough so the air had a little snap to it when I started but warm enough that I cold still sweat a little in th tshirt once I got going.

At least it was only a little sweat. This summer has been brutal on my clothing. The t-shirts I bought as replacements mid summer are still holding up (go Hanes!) but they are not looking new by any stretch of the imagination. with the weather cooling off they will probably now last me until spring.

My undergarments not so much.

Today actually one of my bras made me think I was having a heart attack. It was a t-shirt bra with an underwire that is super comfortable to wear. when I walk sometimes I wear them and save my sports bra for more bouncing activities. I dropped one of my earbuds, bent down to pick it up and felt a shooting pain in my general heart area. I thought, ‘this is the end, I’m going to die in the middle of the walking trail.’

And then I realized the pain stopped when I straightened. Turns out one of the wires had worked its way through the bra material and when I bent down everything shifted and the wire broke through the cloth and stabbed me.

Which was quite a relief.

I’ll take undergarment failure over heart failure anyday.

So I took extra long on my walk, got scared silly by a bra, took a shower and now get to play paperwork catchup. Not a bad day in all really. lunch was a bowl of honey nut cheerios, because the heart smart bee looked quite appealing after my walk, and as long as I don’t bust my calories at dinner I should be right on track. And as long as I take more veggies than rice onto my plate I should be well within my calories. It always astounds me how caloric rice is. I understand why, I get the whole food and nutrition break down, but my brain still looks at the tiny grains and things I’m missing something. Luckily the veg tonight lean heavily towards peas and mushrooms, both favorites of mine so veg over rice isn’t a hardship. But that is later, now, I have a contract to finish and later underwear to buy.

The Daily: September 22nd, 2020

Good afternoon my darlings. I know it is a bit early for me to be posting the daily post, but very shortly I am going grocery shopping. we haven’t been in a while and decided as today was not as busy as the rest of the week and early afternoon might not be all that crowded, we were going to try to go for it.

Plus our cupboard is beyond bare. Last night was left over night and we pretty much cleared out the fridge. So we are going with a long list. And I have found that grocery shopping these days tends to exhaust me. I don’t know if it is the stress, the fact that we shop for a month’s worth of groceries at a time or the interaction with people who sometimes don’t seem to be paying attention to their surroundings.

And the not paying attention starts before the grocery store. Some of my neighbors weren’t the greatest of drivers before the pandemic hit. Not having to drive everyday has not improved their skills. Sadly I am beginning to long for the time when I was just irritated because they didn’t use their turn signals. On my last grocery run I began to think people no longer saw the lines on the road. Which is extra strange because our city government decided that during the time when the roads were less traveled, they were going to go ahead and repaint most of the lines on the road so they are now brighter than they have been in a while.

And yet still unseen.

But maybe they have gotten back into the habit of seeing lanes since last month. Traffic seems to have increased so I know they are practicing.

So I went on an early walk, shivering slightly in the cool morning air (much to my delight). I double checked my grocery list and I even brought out my flat iron. And I used it for more than my bangs. I actually use it on my bangs most days because somehow sleep seems to raise one side up higher than the other. Not a lot, but enough that it is noticeable and I begin to think that I might need to take scissors and even them out. Then I use the flat iron and realize I did cut them straight I just slept funny. In case you are wondering I use the Foxybae traveling flat iron. I find it works much better on my bangs than the large one. I don’t know if it is just easier to maneuver or what but I really like it for my bangs. Its a good flat iron in general and perfectly sized for my bangs. I do need to actually get a regular sized flat iron for the rest of my hair though. The travel sized one is great if I want to put a little curl in my hair while straightening it, but it is kind of small for straightening all my hair.

I have a lot of hair, and I get tired.

Dressed for groceries and feeling like a cartoon villain

So the full sized flat iron is actually on my list for Black Friday/cyber monday. And yes I have started making a list – both of things I would like to pick up and items for those on my gift giving list. This year I’m not traveling so even stockings will be mailed. Hence the plan ahead for both purchase, packing and shipping.

But that is for later. For now, the list I am checking twice is for groceries. And then I am donning my mask and heading out. Foraging in the wild, if you will. I’m currently trying out a mask that has a bump out for the nose. Oddly enough not only does it leave space for my nose but it doesn’t touch my mouth and thus get coated with lipstick. It does make me feel like I am either a GIJOE or Mutant Ninja turtles villain. So I am either Cobra Commander or Shredder. I can live with that.

So off to get groceries and hopefully not linger near the oreos. I have a craving for them but know I can’t be trusted with the pack. I’m not much for sweets but I can take down far too many of the oreos for them to be left in my vicinity. I need like a two – four cookie pack. That way I can eat them and not see the rest of the cookies just waiting for me. So Oreo avoidance and groceries are the theme for this afternoon. With me luck.

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The Daily: September 21st, 2020

Oh my darlings, autumn has arrived! Well, okay technically it officially arrives tomorrow I believe, but last night I was startled out of a sound sleep by the sound of the heat actually kicking on. It didn’t stay on long, just about an hour or so and then it clicked back off. But it left that first run of the season scent lingering in the air which made me think the house was on fire for the remainder of the night.

So I didn’t exactly get much sleep.

And had fire related nightmares.

But it was worth losing a little sleep to be able to walk today and not turn into a sweaty pile of goo. For the first time in a few months I actually finished my regular walk and then looked at the walking trail extension, contemplating taking it.

Unfortunately Monday always comes with a long to do list so I decided against it. However tonight when I set up tomorrow’s schedule I might be building in the extension to my plan for the day, because if anything tomorrow is supposed to be a few degrees cooler. Dare I dream that the summer’s heat is finally broken?

Fingers crossed. I could do with a nice long stretch of autumnal weather. I’m not a huge fan of the cold but after this summer I am all for it. If autumn doesn’t feel like hanging on I am perfectly okay with slipping straight into winter. I am just ready to see this beast of a summer end.

You know what else I really wanted to see end? My time without a scale. I was ready for it too. Even if I ended up a few pounds during my free form dieting I was prepared, I just wanted to actually see what the numbers were. And I would like to say that technically the thirty days was up on the 18th so I was just going to weigh myself on the 25th as the first Friday after my 30 days without a scale was done. I felt virtuous in convincing myself to wait until Friday. It was an easy virtue to hold to as the scale still isn’t back in the house.

However the second cousin I was avoiding the scale in support of as she wrestles with her eating disorder and scale obsession informed me that it was the calendar month, not thirty days and that the end of September is when I get the scale back. I was pretty sure it was a test to see if I was as focused on the scale as she thinks everyone one really is even though they hide it (an ongoing conversation) so I breezily said, Oh Okay I’ll just do my official weigh in on October second then, no sweat.

She looked shocked, her mother looked relieved and I was told later that it was indeed a set up no one managed to tell me of in advance because she just knew I was obsessed with the scale too and was waiting to pounce with an AH HA, J’accuse moment.

Family, huh?

So my curiosity will wait another week. I’m about 70% sure it won’t eat me alive before then. On the bright side, at least this week is filled with lovely weather in which I can walk outside without turning into a complete sweat ball. I can live with that.

Weekly Weight: Fourth week no scale

I have to say I am somewhat relieved to see the title. More than anything the curiosity is eating me alive. Living without a scale for a month has been a bit of a trial. I’m glad I did it, and I learned several things about myself in the process, some of which will help me moving forward, others are things I really just need to keep an eye on.

I’ve learned that lists are really handy to keep me moving and motivated. I’ve learned that sometimes my body will let me know when it is not happy with my bad decisions. I’ve also learned that weekends are my weak spots. During the week I am very good at writing down my calories, getting my workouts in and generally staying on track. Once the clock hits end of work on Friday evening, I am not that great at remembering any of those things.

My brain sort of says ‘weekend’ and then shuts off. Part of it is that I am not at my desk as much over the weekend, so logging things in is harder to remember. At my desk I have a note pad set up to jot things down and make sure they are logged. On weekends, I lose that. I think that is also where I miss the scale the most. I really like having that friday accountability. There is no wiggle room. The scale shows the numbers to you in bold numbers. There is no interpretation of feelings. Just the numbers.

Good or bad, those numbers help me on the weekend. If I did well I can talk myself out of a little something extra because I haven’t earned it, and if the numbers are good I can use them to talk myself out of a little something extra because I don’t want to undo all the work I did the week before. without that I sort of drift.

It makes me very worried that this month without the scale I did put on weight. So the 25th is looming large in my mind as the first day back on the scale.

And this past thirty days wasn’t the most placid of months for me either. Admittedly when I had the bank issues with someone hacking my account after dealing with it instead of stress eating I spent time researching voodoo dolls. So that is something at least. Still the stress was strong this month.

I did learn that while I use the scale and it’s number to keep me motivated, the end weight goal is really nit that important to me. I put up the number because it was within the doctor approved healthy range and it was exactly half of my starting weight and thus made a fun goal. But beyond that, it didn’t mean all that much to me.

Also through conversations with a family member who is recovering from an eating disorder, with therapy, I’ve learned to explain why I use the scale as a tool and will continue to use it in a way that is acceptable to her and compatible with my telling her that the scale should not be relied upon for a holy grail number. Its also why I am no longer going to put up a goal number and just continue on my weight loss until I am within a healthy range and not to achieve a specific number.

So over all this month has been a good thing. I will still be relieved to get my scale back (I sent it out of the house so I wouldn’t be tempted to cheat). Even if I did gain weight, which I will consider acceptable this month (even if I don’t really like the possibility) I will be very happy to know my current weight. Its the curiosity that is really getting to me. But for both family and self, it was definitely worth taking a month away from the scale to think about why and how I want to use it moving forward. I don’t now who out there is in the same weight loss boat as I am, but I hope these posts have helped you as well. I will be keeping up my daily posts next week. I might even keep them as a regular feature moving forward. Feel fee to let me know if you’d like to see them continue.