Weekly Weight: 219.2 lbs

The Scale: January 22, 2021

Weekly Weight: 219.2 Lbs

This week was an interesting week for me.  I worked hard on getting up early and actually managed to get up early.  Familiarity did not make getting up early any easier.  At no time did my body really accept that I was getting up early.  Each day, it tried to talk me out of it.  On some mornings I was able to do an early morning workout with my You Tube Video Workouts, on others I went for a super early morning walk.

While I know I need toe workouts so that I can target all my body, I really preferred the walking.  I think part of it was not having to face an enthusiastic instructor.  I’m pretty sure that in order to be a fitness instructor, you have to have a positive go team go kind of attitude.  I get that and normally its not too much of a problem. I just find it difficult to face in the mornings.

I much prefer walking with my music in the mornings. Actually what was interesting is that I thought it would be an early morning kind of slowly wake up affair.  I’d play gentle music maybe something from my classics collection, Vivaldi maybe or even Mozart, maybe listen to a podcast or the news on the radio.

Nope. I found myself gravitating to Metallica, Rage Against the Machine and Nine Inch Nails.

Every. Morning.

I don’t know if I’m really cut out for quiet Zen. Or perhaps it was dark and I was awake so the back of my brain just decided that there was no way this was an early morning workout, because I would not do such a thing to it,  so it must be a late night party instead and gravitated towards the most appropriate play lists.

I have to say it was kind of nice.  I have been listening to more classical music lately, mostly because I find it easier to work with music that doesn’t have lyrics. While RATM is often my Friday Face mask Music I haven’t listened to some of the other albums I played on my mornings this week in a while. It was nice to hear them again.

But music aside, I did manage to get in my morning exercise, which sadly means that the earlier wake up is kind of the way I need to move forward. Despite not really liking it, I had no skipped workouts because of time this week.  Getting them in and knocked out early before I start my day is really the best thing for me. 

This was not the outcome I was hoping for.  I was hoping I would find there was no change in how many workouts were skipped and I could decide this idea was not for me.  But alas my darlings it was not.  So for the next wile I will be getting up early where I want to or not and using that extra time to do my workouts. The only thing I have to watch is the sleepy snacking.  While I’m not a big snacker, this week I started gravitating towards the snacks.  It wasn’t bad, mostly because we don’t have anything really bad in the house. I had a hand full of peanuts here a slice of cheese there. The issue is that I wasn’t snacking because I was hungry but because I was sleepy. It is something I will have to monitor and keep track of moving forward.

Over all though, despite my wining it was a pretty good workout week.

The stats: Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last week’s weight: 220.0 lbs

This week’s Weight: 219.2 lbs

Lost this week 0.8 lbs

Lost in total thus far: 26.8 lbs

It is a little shy of my one pound per week goal, but not terribly short.  I’m going to blame the snacking for part of it.  Also dinner was a little salt heavy which tends to throw the next morning off.  Either way I am pleased that my journey continues and my weight continues decreasing one sliver at a time. And now, it is on with the day! I hope you have a fantastic one, my darlings.

Weekly Weight: 221.2 lbs

The Scale, January 8th, 2021

I’m not going to lie, I was crushed when I saw the numbers on the scale this morning. I also stepped on the scale three more times to make certain this was the weight number it wanted to give me.

It was.

I don’t know why I thought it might change, but it didn’t.

I ate a lot of rich food over the last two weeks. I also did not exercise as much as I should have. I get that. it isn’t really a mind bender to see where the weight came from. I was hoping it was less.

However the one bright spot was that last night’s dinner was pretty heavy. Heavier even than our normal Friday night calorie splurge. Usually Friday night we have a larger meal as kind of a reward for eating light all week, however even those meals pale in comparison to the Birthday stroganoff from last night.

Tonight Dinner will be salad. We will still do the Friday Happy Hour (which will be a post later today) but those are much smaller indulgences. Especially this week.

And January 7th was the last of the truly big meals until Easter so I am okay. Really I am. I hate really hate seeing the scale mark me as being back in the 220s but this is a flying visit. I will not be staying. Soon it will be left behind.

And so we get to the stats of the first Weigh in of the year. While I will still post my initial beginning weight I will start off with just this week’s weight and not look back.

I know it bends the rules in my favor but it makes me feel better for seeing a seven pound holiday weight gain this morning. I am in need of just a little bit of comfort. And because we are starting the year off, I will also add in my measurements.

So, the stats…

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

This Week’s Weight: 221.2 lbs

Lost thus far: 24.8 lbs

Start of the year Measurements:

Bust: 48 inches

Waist: 46 inches

Hips: 47.5 inches

So at least if nothing else I have a record of where I am starting this year. Hopefully all but the pounds lost numbers will shrink in the upcoming months. While I understand where this weight gain came from and I am not happy seeing it, I know what I have to do to lose it and being stunned by the scale isn’t enough to make me give up. I learned a long time ago that sometimes life kicks you in the teeth, When it does, you just have to get back up again, even if you grumble about life sucker punching you. The same applies to weight loss. The gain is a step back but not a halt. So today I will walk and get back on my routine. I will also be having salad for dinner to hopefully scrape the stroganoff off of my innards. I hope if you had a holiday set back, you are getting right back into gear too. I know you can do it.

Weekly Weight:213.4 lbs

The Scale: December 18th, 2020

Do you know what I just realized? Since Christmas and New Year’s Day are both on Fridays and I am giving myself a holiday break from the scale, this is the last weight post of the year.

I feel that as a gift to myself I will not weigh in until after both holidays have passed. I’ll still be working out and watching what I eat, but there will be indulgences. I anticipate a little temporary weight gain but as I proved to myself over Thanksgiving , it will indeed only be a temporary set back.

Plus, I realized yesterday that I sort of need a little mental break from dieting, if only on the official recording. Yesterday, if you read the Daily post, you saw that I just had to let thoughts of diets and fitness go. I didn’t do anything crazy, and I stayed within my calories oddly enough, I just didn’t work out. This morning I did a couple of youtube videos. The same ones I did on Monday actually. So, I did get right back to it, I just needed a day off.

That is one thing that sort to settles to the back of your mind as you try to lose a lot of weight. You hold firm to the idea of being a healthy weight. You spur yourself forward by celebrating small victories along the way but it is a long haul. Counting calories every day, monitoring what you eat and what you do so that everything stays on track is somewhat exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong, it needs to be done. Even before restaurants went on limited service, I cooked almost all of our meals at home.We ate out maybe once a month or once every other month. For me dieting meant scaling back portion sizes and learning how to make certain foods a little bit healthier. Initially that added a layer to the effort where I had to rethink a lot of my recipes, but for the most part that has settled. But the calorie count still remains, and will remain throughout as portion size is still where I have a tendency to slip up.

So for the next two weeks I will still count calories and watch my portion size. I will get my exercise in but I will be giving myself the gift of not stepping on the scale until the first official weigh in of the year, January 8th. If there is one resolution I know I am going to make this year, it is that I am going to be kinder to myself. The break from the scale is the first step of that.

So what are the stats that technically close out 2020?

Starting Weight: 246 lbs

Last week’s weight: 214.8 lbs

This week’s weight: 213.4 lbs

Weight lost this week: 1.4 lbs

Weight lost thus far: 32.4 lbs

Personally I am very happy with this end of the year figure. I was hoping to be under the two hundred mark by New Year’s but I am confident that sometime in 2021 that will happen. This 32 lbs is just the start. My journey will continue. So over the holiday I will recover from the exhausting nature of eternally monitoring weight loss and get back into it fresh as the new year begins. I don’t know how many of you are on a similar journey but I hope you remember that it is okay to get tired of the whole thing and want to quit. I hope that even if you do need to take a moment or two and just let it go, you know that it is okay and that you can just as easily get back into it after a short breather. I think in the new year, all of us need to be a little kinder to ourselves.

Weekly Weight: 214.8 lbs

The scale, November 20, 2020

This week was a bit of a rollercoaster for me.  I think that I managed to have an equal number of days where I didn’t get any exercise as days where I did.  Nothing I planned actually worked out as I planned and I felt like I was running to catch up the entire week. 

Quite frankly I am exhausted and so ready for the weekend.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that my weight did drop a little bit this week regardless of everything else.  Especially as I thought I might be approaching a bit of a plateau.  In all fairness I might be, but that will be clearer after next week.  This week things were so scattered that stress or missed walks could account for the small loss. 

I will also confess that as next week is Thanksgiving and I plan to have a celebratory meal with my baby doll, I will not be weighing in on Friday Morning (November 27th).  That would just be too cruel.  The day after a holiday no scales are allowed.  So no weigh in next Friday and a reevaluation of my diet plan on after the first Friday of December. 

How we reached the end of November is something of a mystery to me, yet somehow here we are.  So as they stand now… The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 215.0 lbs

This Week’s Weight: 214.8 lbs

Lost this week: 0.2 lbs

Lost thus far: 31.2 lbs

This weekend I will rest and recover.  Next week I will do my best to stay on schedule until Thursday, skip Friday’s weigh in and close out November with the same regime I started with.  Then I will reevaluate for December and the New Year.  As I will be reevaluating Subscription boxes as well as other elements of my world in December, it seems only fair to chuck my weight loss plan into the mix. 

I’d say it was a plan but I’ve grown suspicious of the word plan as every time I try and use it my world goes a bit bonkers. Instead I will say these are the ideas I have regarding my weight loss. And yes I hope to trick the Gods of planning who have apparently turned against me.  I will also be doing a google search to learn how I may appease these fickle beings.  Maybe it will require a daily planner exorcism.  That could be fun.

Also as we are going into the weekend before all of the sales kick off in a big way, I will be posting some sales notices so you can take advantage of them if you are shopping. The first I want to mention is actually from Nuxe. There sales vary by day and start on Monday. So November 23rd – 25th – 15% off sitewide, November 26th – 20% off + 2x minis WYS $50, November 27th – 29th – 30% off When you spend $70  and then November 30th – December 1st – 25% off When you spend $50. I hope that helps you plan. Personally, I will be going to Nuxe for the Insta-Masque line. I really liked the exfoliating one and want to try the other two in the line. with the sales it seems a good time to pick them up.

Weekly Weight: 215.0 lbs

The scale: November 13th, 2020

Welcome to Friday the thirteenth.  I know it really isn’t any spookier than any other day.  I will say however that no one thought to explain this to my coffee pot.  It chose this morning for catastrophic failure.  As reported by my babydoll.  Apparently, there were sparks.

My baby doll wakes up before I do because he really needs a few hours of mosey awake time in the morning. Oddly, he is a morning person, he just likes to take his time and savor the first hours of the day.


My wierdo who I love, but still

I am more of a get up and get moving because I have no choice about being awake at this ungodly hour sort of person. Admittedly I like to savor the night and could happily wind my day down slowly and maybe mosey to bed at two in the morning (provided I didn’t have to get up in the morning, which sadly I do) whereas once he reaches a certain point of the night then he has to fight to stay awake until bedtime and then conks out as soon as he lays down as though someone hit him with a brick. And then he doesn’t move until he wakes up the next morning.

It is somewhat disconcerting.

As I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually slept through the night, all of which are tied to some sort of illness or the fact that I stayed up more than twenty four hours straight prior to the sleep fest, I didn’t realize that real people actually did that.  I thought it was only in movies and cartoons.  You know, some sort of idealized version of sleep.

I wake up every hour or two even with a sleep mask and sleepytime gummies. I sort of cat nap throughout the night. A good night’s sleep means two blocks of three hours straight in one night, occasionally with an hour awake in between. And before you ask, any sleep drugs stronger than the gummies make me sleep walk. It’s just the way I am wired. Drove my mom crazy when I was a kid since she was convinced I needed to sleep through the night.  My dad wasn’t worried since apparently he did the same thing. And so did his dad. As well as a couple of my cousins.

So at least it is genetic.

But regardless this is not about my odd fascination with the fact that some people can actually sleep an entire night through. It is about weight, the losing there of or in this week’s case the maintaining of the same number.

Yeah you aren’t wrong if you think you’ve seen this number before. It is the same as last week. So this week no loss, but at least no gain.  As I needed to take a few days off of walking, partially because of the blister I walked onto the back of my heel but mostly because the rain is still keeping the park flooded, I didn’t get as much calorie burning exercise in as I planned. I tried portion control so I was mostly able to stay within my calories.  The issue was that I did my menu planning intending to walk and my break from walking came towards the end of the week when I had fewer meal switching options.  But that is okay.  The rain will end, the park will dry and my blister will heal. And in the end, I didn’t gain anything this week. 

The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 215.0 lbs

This Week’s Weight: 215.0 lbs

Lost this week: 0.0 lbs

Lost thus far: 31.0 lbs

And now I am off to dig out the glass stovetop percolator from the depths of the cabinet.  The last time it was used was during a power outage. It became my BFF then.  My babydoll used the French Press. If I can’t find my beloved percolator than I will go the French press option myself.  But fear not, the now deceased Mr. Coffee will be mourned. 

And apparently even as the French press brewed my Babydoll’s morning cup, he ordered a new Mr. Coffee, a replacement is eminent. Which is kind of amusing.  He has been talking about getting a newer fancier coffee pot for a while.  I’m not sure which bells and whistles he things we need but he loves his gadgets.  This is far from the first coffee pot we have killed but each time, he automatically orders the exact same as a replacement.  The about three weeks later he realizes that he missed his opportunity and pouts for a week.  Then we get some other completely unrelated gadget that he has been eyeing and hasn’t gotten around to purchasing. It’s sort of our in house system.  I can’t wait to see what arrives by mail about a month from now. The new coffee pot will however be here this weekend.

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Weekly Weight: 215.0 lbs

The scale November 6th, 2020

This week has had some ups and downs.  I’ll admit a large chunk of them were my fault. I went bike riding mid-week and lost complete track of time.  Which, as I haven’t been bike riding in over a year really did my legs in.

But I am only feeling a twinge of stiffness at the moment.

The stress of the week didn’t help any.  In the spirit of fair confession there was a point this week where I binge watched election returns while powering through far too many packs of smarties than was good for me. We had only one trick or treater this year and even though we loaded him up with as much candy as possible there was still a lot left.  Significantly less after my binging.

I think I mindlessly packed away more than a year’s worth of recommended sugar intake this week. But elections like this don’t come along every day.  I’m sure the next one will be a lot calmer and less stressful.

And the dreams will hopefully end.

I swear mid-week I had a dream that to decide the final outcome of the election the GOP and the DEMs engaged in Knightly warfare; horses, armor, swords and battle axes.  I’m pretty sure it was a combination of too much news and researching battle gear for a fantasy novel I am writing. They merged into a very bizarre scenario. Admittedly, the battle was started when someone said “Racers on your marks” and then fired a starter pistol into the air.

No clue where that came from, but the person with the starter pistol looked and sounded a lot like Ru Paul.

But whatever the week brought I got on the scale.  I am happy to say, it was a loss this week. Not a huge loss but, I’m pretty sure that is some sort of minor miracle. I was fully expecting to gain weight this week.  Stress (and candy) usually do that to me. Perhaps the bike ride saved me as well as turned my thighs into achy jelly. Or maybe it was the early in the week yoga each morning (until the bikeride). Either way, something helped.

The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 215.4 lbs

This Week’s Weight: 215.0 lbs

Lost this week: 0.4 lbs

Lost thus far: 31.0 lbs

And so we soldier on, hopefully leaving the stress behind and taking the lessons forward. Candy should not be stockpiled in the house, watches should be worn on bike rides and for a good night’s sleep, I should not watch the news before bed. Or do research on armor and weapons. These are the lessons of the week. I’ll be sure to put them to good use.

yoga gear

Weekly Weight: 215.4 lbs

The scale, October 30th, 2020

I’ll admit I was a little nervous about the scale this week. Two days of rain with not a lot of activity made me count every single calorie a lot more closely than usual. But it kept me on track so my math wasn’t wasted. I am sort of annoyed with nutrition labels at the moment. All of the measurements for a recommended serving size had very little relation to what i wanted to eat. I know one of my issues has always been getting portion control correct but I cook a lot so I am generally dividing up produce, weighing meat and cheese, sifting flour and trying to figure out how much a medium egg weighs compared to a large one.

At the beginning of the pandemic we stocked the pantry and while I have been working through the more normal dry goods in a relatively steady fashion (we didn’t actually buy more than we would use in a month of those actually) however my baby doll panic-stocked his favorite prepackaged foods (because god forbid the apocalypse arrive and we not have cool ranch doritos). He added them to his personal workspace and has slowly been adding them to the pantry as we use up regular ingredients like rice.

And yes it seems very strange to run out of rice, but have three bags of doritos and eight chocolate bars.

There are other things too that he picked up: Premade soups, boatloads of canned tuna, that sort of thing. I actually had a look in his workshop and was rather surprised. As he hadn’t been opening cabinets and taking things out, merely adding one or two things at a time as ‘backup’ be was rather surprised as well. So he agreed not to panic buy for a while and we’ve been working through his stash.

To double back, usually my issue is with portion control. I usually want more than the recommended serving size. To be honest, the reverse is kind of true now on some of the junk foods. I don’t want as much as the serving suggests. Or I do but I can’t eat it. The culprit is sodium. Cooking at home with few premade packaged foods and not a lot of restaurant meals has dropped my sodium intake way down and I just can’t take the amount of salt I once did. Too much salt and my tongue starts to feel like it is burning.

I should point out that I have what’s called a geographic tongue. Mine is slight, one of my cousins has it way more than I do. His tongue looks as though he has been chewing on glass (sans Blood of course) when he sticks it out. By contrast, mine only has a few much smaller cuts. So it means some foods and chemicals hit me harder than other things. Salt in high quantities has always made my tongue feel burned, but now it takes much lower amounts of sodium to reach that level.

So there has been a lot of math as I counted my calories and argued with ingredients labels “I’m not going to eat five crackers, I’m only eating two you stupid box.”

My baby doll thinks it is amusing when I argue with labels about what I plan to eat. so he at least has had fun with my math this week.

But it paid off.

Starting weight: 246.0 lbs

Last week’s weight: 216.4 lbs

This week’s Weight: 215.4 lbs

This week’s loss: 1.0 lbs

Weight lost thus far: 30.6 lbs

So the math helped me out, even if very few labels had evenly splittable serving sizes. Three, five and seven were the most often recommended number of items to consume. I know there is a marketing reason for that, but I generally found I wanted to eat an even number. But truthfully, I don’t mind math in general. I just got annoyed when I didn’t think ahead and do the math before I got hungry. usually I plan things out better but I am working with unexpected ingredients and a sheepish man who apparently loves spaghetti-os. Luckily this weekend is our once a month grocery shopping excursion so I can restock actual pantry items. Fun stuff in the world of dieting. But at least it looks like next week will be clear and sunny. Cold, but clear and sunny.

Weekly Weight: 218.2 lbs

The Scale, October 9th, 2020

I know I am running a little behind today, but this morning has been a little surreal. I got up and stripped down to step on the scale. I stepped on the scale, took the picture and wiggled in a little happy dance. I may not believe that the scale’s numbers are the end all be all of my life but it is nice to have some validation of my efforts.

However as I reached for my clothes and began to dress, still bobbing my head to an impromptu happy dance. To the tune of “two pounds gone, oh yeah, two pounds gone, the sweat was worth it.”

Okay calling it a tune might be stretching the truth and possibly be an insult to music in general. But I was dancing to it nonetheless. When suddenly my bedroom was filled with flashing blue lights.

Sadly my first thought was “My dancing’s not that bad”.

I then realized I was still half naked and that if the police were indeed hunting me down for some unknown misdeed then I wanted to be fully clothed. So I finished dressing very quickly.

Turns out the police did not want to take me in for crimes against music. They were here for one of my neighbors. Incidentally the neighbor whose radio caused me to think i was going insane earlier in the week.

I have no idea what is up. In general I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood. Its one of those neighborhoods that is in the process of transitioning. We have a lot of folks who have lived here for fifty years and if they leave they are either going to an assisted living facility or the funeral home. Then we have a couple of young families with really little kids. Excitement in my neighborhood generally means an ambulance and the start of the house finding a new owner or my neighbor with dementia accusing one of the other neighbors of stealing her fudge pops.

For diabolical purposes I’m certain.

But I’m sure later I will find out what is going on with the neighbor and the police. with everyone working from home more (at least those that aren’t retired) gossip spreads along the walking trail even with everyone more than six feet away. which also means it is spread loudly to over come both distance and masks so you get to hear everything. I now know gossip about people I’ve never met. it’s kind of fun.

Anyway, that is for later. At the moment, I am happy my sweat paid off and my weight is going back down. Two pounds is a great loss for me this week and quite frankly provided me with the encouragement I needed to keep going. The weight gain from the month without a scale really got me down. this makes me want to continue. So to the new and improved stats!

Starting weight: 246 lbs

Last week’s Weight: 220.2 lbs

This week’s weight: 218.2 lbs

Lost this week: 2 lbs

Lost in total: 27.8 lbs

I am no longer putting a goal weight as I am just going to work at chipping away the excess until I feel healthy and am in a healthy weight range according to my doctor. I can use the scale as a tool without being ruled by it. And I can still enjoy the two lbs loss happy dance. It is not even illegal, as far as I know.

Weekly Weight: 220.2 lbs

Weigh in October 2, 2020

Yeah, I almost had a heart attack when i saw the numbers on the scale this morning. I knew my control slipped and that I greenlighted far more comfort foods in the past month than usual. I also let my portion control slip when I stopped logging my calories.

But what is done is done. I can’t wallow. Although I will admit to some very harsh words to myself this morning. Then I actually stopped and realized I wouldn’t actually say those things to anyone else and that I certainly didn’t need to hear them from myself.

So at least that is progress of a sort.

What matters now is not letting this setback become permanent. It happened and it is a good reminder of what happens when I stop paying attention, but it isn’t permanent. It is just my new starting point.

I won’t lie I thought I might gain a couple of pounds, but I didn’t expect this and I am somewhat disappointed in myself. However, I know I took a month off from the scale for a good reason. I also now know that I am still at a point where the scale is a tool I need to use to keep me on track. Clearly it helps me reinforce my good decisions and provides a marker for a course correction when I make bad ones. So this was what a month with no accountability got me.

I need the accountability of the weekly weigh in. And so it returns.

I’ll get over my disappointment in myself and keep moving forward. As a very good friend of mine once told me, ‘Failures are either lessons that propel you forward or weights that hold you back.’ The situation was completely different, but the theory remains the same. I’ve learned lessons, about both my weight and myself this month. I will let them guide me as I move on and not weld me into place.

Yeah I know. Sarcasm and mocking come naturally to me, positive thinking takes effort. And while I’ll never be the eternal optimist/cheerleader sort of person, in this instance it is important to set the disappointment to the side. In case you were wondering in high school my sports were Fencing and Debate. If I couldn’t skewer you with words, I went for the sword. Not a lot of cheerleaders for Fencing. Although I bet their cheers would just be simply awesome. I’m sure lunge and riposte would be just beat the word Defense hollow in cheer format.

But I suppose now I need to work on my riposte and be my own cheerleader. And at least trying to think up fencing and/or weight loss related cheers prevents me from wallowing. Humor may be a defense mechanism, but sometimes it keeps your brain from breaking. And I’d rather laugh than beat myself up for what is already done. So, as I move forward we have the new stats.

Starting Weight: 246 lbs

This week’s Weight: 220.2 lbs

I kept my original weight because it reminds me that I am not back to square one no matter how much it feels like it at this moment in time. I also am not adding my last weigh in because it is in the past and if I see it, I will dwell upon it and start to wallow. next week I will add the change in weight from this week’s record. (although the other weights are still posted so you can see them for yourself if you’d like). I am also leaving off the goal weight as I don’t want to fixate on a number and instead just focus on reaching a weight where I feel good and is within the range of healthy weight for my body type according to the doctor.

So the big scare first official weigh in back is complete. It was scary, but I get through it, and you can’t always walk away and hid from what scares you. Unless it is a knife wielding maniac. Then you should probably run and hide. And call the police. But scary things like facing the scale and weight gain. This is something I can do. A scary thing I can face. And if you are in the same boat, I know that you can do it too.

Weekly Weight: 7 Days no scale

I know, usually this post is topped with a photo of the scale and my weight for the week but I am doing thirty days without stepping on the scale. I made it through my first week and I have to say I am really missing the scale. Not only is it accountability, but it is encouragement.

I kind of miss it.

I know that sounds weird because I don’t actually like the scale. It so often reflects things I don’t want to see that I think of it as an enemy. But it isn’t. It is a tool and in no way a measure of my self worth.

The scale doesn’t go high enough to measure my self worth. It is merely a reflection of effort.

And while I enjoy seeing the results of my efforts in numerical form, I agreed not to get on the scale for a month. In fact, I sent the scale to work worth my baby. He is keeping it safely hidden away from the house for the next month.

Mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to cheat.

I am occasionally weak.

So we are doing the week in review holistically.

This week I went a little bonkers with the weighing of ingredients and calorie counting early in the week. I somehow suspected the weight would sneak on once it thought I could no longer see it. So Monday and Tuesday I was a little crazy, but I can only keep up that level of crazy for so long and I started to loosen up a bit by mid week.

I replaced a bunch of shirts yesterday that can attest to my sweating it out in the sun. I picked up a pack of Hanes T-shirts and placed an order for a couple of more packs to have in readiness. (partially because they were having a sale and partially to extend their use by having a larger number to rotate through).

This morning when I dressed, I put on an oversized tunic shirt and leggings. I felt like I had some how gotten shorter in the night. I hadn’t worn these leggings in a while and as my weight has gone down a bit, they get baggier and by extension longer in the leg with a higher waist. It is a reminder that when I start looking at putting my summer clothes away and taking out my fall and winter ones, I will need to do a bit of a clear out. There will be a large fashion show for one as I not only see what is too worn out to be kept but what needs to be donated because it no longer fits.

It won’t really start to cool down here until Mid October so I am aiming for the clear out at the end of September. Oddly enough right after my next official weigh in.

Over all I think this week went fairly well. For me I think the issue is going to be one of drift. One of my big deterrents for extra helpings of an extra treat is knowing that I am going to have to get on the scale on Friday and thus admit what I’ve done to the world (or at least those reading this blog).

‘You can have that second slice of pie if you want but you are still going to have to step on the scale on Friday.’

Its now a hollow threat.

The daily posts are helping though. It requires that I list what I do and reminds me to monitor, so I will be keeping those up for the rest of the month. So I will struggle along and keep my fingers crossed that it works as it is supposed to and that there isn’t something i’m missing.

Because honestly, without the scale it sort of feels like I am missing something. But I gave my word so here we are. the end of week one, feeling fine, slightly nervous and cautiously optimistic.

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